don’t shoot the messenger, she’s a quicker draw than you

This week is spring break where I teach, so I am using the opportunity to do makeup lessons for all my students who are still in town. Of them, most are getting a full hour lesson this week, which both kills two makeups in one shot and gives me an opportunity to focus more on proper form and technique and catch up on theory. Also most of them are under 12 years old, so attention span can be a challenge.

My first lesson of the day is with Fidget – a bright 11 year old girl who cannot sit still ever. She is learning the easy piano version of “Let It Go” – I’m trying to impress upon her that she has to count instead of playing what she thinks she knows. I am consequently making her count out loud as she plays and teaching her how to use a metronome, painful as it may be. We are getting down to business when the business phone rings. I do not answer; I am teaching. We are technically not open. I even purposely left the main lights off. At some point I hear the little electronic doorbell. The mailman has already delivered; it must be a student. Not mine. After a few minutes I hear it again. Probably that student figured out there was nobody here and left.

Fidget’s attention is waning; metronome work is harrrddddd. I sympathize. You can only do that crap for so long. I switch it up with flashcards. I hear the electronic doorbell again. Still can’t be my student. Why all this traffic? I’m the only one teaching today. Then I hear:

Woman: Hello? Helloooo!!!!!

I leave my room. A tall-ish blonde-ish middle-aged woman is approaching the desk. In all likelihood the mother of Doorbell Student. She is clearly looking to pick a fight. I am inclined to let her try. Her tone and demeanor are giving me no reason to be anything more than honest and professional. And it could be fun.

Me: Hello?
Woman: (serious sass) What’s going on? Where is everybody? Are you guys not open today?
Me: (keeping it stone cold and professional) We’re on spring break. I’m only here doing makeups.
Woman: (getting seriously pissed) Well why didn’t [teacher] tell my son you were on spring break?
Me: (That’s it. You want your fight? You got it. First off, how the hell should I know. Shut up. Second, don’t give me attitude, I don’t know you or your kid. Third, you’re interrupting my lesson. Fourth, you should have figured it out when nobody else is here. Fifth, he didn’t have to tell you because, most importantly,) It was on the newsletter you received when you signed up for lessons.
Woman: (hand to the holster, ready to draw) What newsletter?
Me: (too late, sweetheart) The one with all the important dates and makeup policies on it. It’s also posted right behind you on the wall (indicating literally right next to her elbow, next to the door)
Woman: (narrows her eyes at me, then the schedule) (mutters something and leaves)

Sixth, don’t blame me for a mistake that was entirely preventable by you.

Seriously don’t start with me. I’m always locked and loaded.

Or, if you prefer a moral to the story, be polite. It will get you far; it will make me want to help you and be nice and maybe even apologize for the inconvenience. Being confrontational will get you no mercy and expose you as an idiot. Choose wisely next time.

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Filed under adventures in teaching, this actually happened

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