this semester is going to be fantastic

I was awoken at 8:10 this morning by a series of text messages. This is the exchange that followed. (Everything is transcribed directly from my phone. Names have been hidden to protect the idiotic.)

Singer: (8:10) hey liz! i hope your break was restful…mine, i contracted bronchitis:( ha just my luck! but, my jury is tomorro at 1. because its a late jury, im not sure
Singer:
(8:11) where itll be but, il findout asap. i thought if u wantd 2 get 2gether beforehand n spiff a few things up, thad b great..anytime tomoro btwn 10 and 1?
Singer: (8:13) oh, and im starting with bist du bei mir, which means theyl either ask for tu lo sai or gia sole del gange….either way, i think wel be fine:)
Me: (8:20) i don’t think you ever actually gave me gia il sole. also, is the rorem on the table still? and… we’ve never actually rehearsed anything – just bach in your lessons. you sure you don’t want to get together today?
Singer: (8:25) youre right, lets do today. i didnt realize you didnt get the giail sole?!omg thats so unprofessional im so sorry…yes rorem is on the table but because
Singer: (8:25) this is my first jury, they want 2 hear my italian so, its there but prolly not going 2 be needed. im copying giail sole as i text!:( im so sorry luckily its
Singer: (8:25) a very easy accom. part. do u hav time this morning? 10:30?
Me: (8:25) yeah i’m free all day. meet me on the 4th floor at 1030 then.
Singer: (8:27) thank you so much! ill see you then
Singer: (8:27) and as far as pay goes, i owe you for 2 lessons and this practice and jury…is that correct?
Me: (8:28) i have to look it up – ill let you know at 1030

At this point I took a shower and got dressed.

Me: (9:14) just looked up money from last semester – it’s 3 lessons, but one went long, so $60 total.
Singer: (9:54) great..il have it for you at the jury tomoro:)

I was in the Starbucks drive-through, ordering a Caramel Nonfat Coping Mechanism (cheapest therapy around), when this came in.

Singer: (10:07) hey liz…whenever u arrive, im in room 435B
Me: (10:11) alright getting some starbucks, be there soon. i might see if there are any real good pianos avail since im gonna stay for a while
Singer: (10:12) sounds great..thanx for meeting so quickly…youre an amaaaazing accompanist!

Yeah.

You might guess how the rehearsal went. In case you can’t guess, let me fill you in.

I was her accompanist last semester. I attended four of her lessons, in which we did the same song every single time. We never rehearsed outside her lessons – not once. I only had four of her six jury songs. She was supposed to jury last semester, but she wasn’t prepared and fortunately got the stomach flu which allowed her to postpone her jury until now. She said she’d contact me to rehearse over break. She didn’t. Here we are.

She gave me the other two songs. She did have bronchitis and was coughing up God knows what, and couldn’t hit anything above an E, but I am pretty sure that doesn’t excuse her from knowing notes. Or having decent diction. Or breathing in the middle of words. Or knowing the words.

I spent about an hour and a half teaching her her songs, but only four of them. We (she) didn’t bother with the German because we did it in lessons, and of the other, I swear I am not making this up, she said: “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t actually know this one. I’m offering the German and my teacher says they’re gonna pick an Italian because I’m a freshman and they’re going to want to hear my diction so they won’t pick Purcell because it’s English.” I told her that’s the stupidest f*cking gamble I’ve ever heard, to go home and learn the notes and words, and we will put it together tomorrow. Later tonight, if she wants. She doesn’t, she wants tomorrow.

Rehearsal is at 10am tomorrow, jury is at 1:55.

If this is the first day of classes, I cannot wait to see what else is in store for me.

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2 Comments

Filed under adventures in accompanying, this actually happened

2 responses to “this semester is going to be fantastic

  1. Brooks

    If there is a God, she will not pass…

  2. I will do my professional duty as accompanist, but I have faith enough in our voice faculty that they won’t pass her.

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