new york state drinking game

Authored by MJ and me.

Take a drink every time David Patterson says “People of New York.”
Take a drink every time they raise taxes.
Take a drink every time Rudy mentions 9/11.
Take a drink every time your county sales tax changes and you find out when you’re at the store.
Take a drink every time someone from somewhere else in New York picks on your accent.
Take a drink every time you get stuck in that left exit lane off of 90 to Albany because you weren’t paying attention.
Take a drink every time they expose another one of David Patterson’s drug crimes.
Take a drink every time someone cuts you off at about 85 mph but you think, ‘Well at least he signaled.’
Take a drink every time someone in another state assumes you’re from New York City.
Two if they ask if you know someone there.
Take a drink if you can identify Utica on a map without looking.
Take a drink if you can remember all 7 regions of New York. Another if you’ve been to all of them.
Take a drink if you know the Erie Canal song.
Take a drink if the Oneida Indian Nation has laid a land claim on your house.
Take a drink if you can see grass when you wake up but can’t see your car by noon.
Take a drink if your school goes on 90 minute delay only after there’s been 4 feet of snow.
Take a drink if you get pissed at someone for calling Westchester ‘upstate.’
Take two drinks if Elliott Spitzer does a speaking engagement at your college/town.
Take a drink if the governor is somehow a Kennedy.
Take a drink if a New York State Trooper has flashed you into the slow lane while going 85 on I-87.
Take a drink if Hillary shows her ignorance about anything north of Westchester.
Take a drink if Hillary mentions “Albany.”
Take a drink if Hillary is wearing the fugliest pantsuit since Janet Reno.
Take a drink if someone mentions Hillary outside of a wisecrack.
Take a drink if your sales tax is over 9%.
Take a drink if the Buffalo Sabres game isn’t cancelled.
Take a drink if they’re actually carrying the Devils game.
Take a drink if you can find parking at the Oncenter.
Take a drink if you still cheer for Syracuse but can’t name a single player since Carmelo Anthony.
Take a drink if you’ve been to the Dome before the roof caved in.
Take a drink if you use winter wiper blades all year round.
Take a drink every time they require you to purchase a permit for something inane.
Take a drink if SUNY cut your major.
Take a drink if your mechanic has ever turned off the engine light so you could pass inspection because he didn’t want you to pay $300 for a new O2 sensor.
Take a drink for each time your car has needed a major repair due to road salt.
Take a drink every time you’ve been stuck behind a plow on the NYS Thruway.
Take an extra because you were grateful for it and weren’t about to pass it.
Take a drink every time they raise the Thruway tolls.
Take a drink because you know Uggs are for keeping warm, not looking fashionable.
Take a drink if you’ve ever lost control of your vehicle on black ice and not hit anything.
Take two if you did hit something.
Take three if it was something else you owned.
Take a drink for every winter you’ve ended up looking like a bodybuilder because of shovelling.
Take a drink if you didn’t have to do a 3 point turn or parallel park on your road test because the snowbanks were too high.
Take a drink if you wear shorts and/or short sleeves once it hits 60. Take another for the sandals.
Take a drink if you’ve ever had a near-miss with a deer on your snowmobile.
Take a drink if you know your city’s special foods are totally better than the next city’s. Take another if you’ve ever actually TRIED the other city’s.
Take a drink if you blame the high taxes on New York City.
Take a drink for each year it’s been since you’ve been to the City.
Take a drink if you’ve made it through JFK or LaGuardia without being harassed by a vagrant near baggage claim.
Take a drink for every four-letter word you used because JFK didn’t have free wireless.
Take a drink for each hour you had to entertain yourself without said wireless.
Take a drink every time you’ve bashed New York but secretly known it’s better than every other state.
Take a drink if you made over 85 on any math Regents.
Take two for any Regents you aced.
Take a drink if you graduated with a Regents with High Honors diploma.
Take a drink if you thought colleges cared about it.
Take a drink if your college actually accepted your AP credits.
Take a drink if your college was a SUNY.
Take a drink if you remember the last time the state budget was passed on time.
Take a drink if you have to hold your nose when you vote.

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1 Comment

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One response to “new york state drinking game

  1. MJ

    Take a drink if you get a direct flight into Syracuse.

    Take a drink if New York has ever tried to fine you for something after you’ve moved out of the state.

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