It’s not quite 9pm, and I’m coming back into Tallahassee from my church gig in Monticello on 90. I’m approaching the I-10 interchange. A vehicle has been following me at a comfortable distance for God knows how long. Like, far enough behind me that I don’t mind the headlights. As I’m approaching the interchange, he’s creeping up on me ever so slowly, but not fast enough to overtake me before the road merges again. I see that he’s a Hummer. There’s a pickup in front of me, and two cars are approaching a merge with us.

The first car merges in front of the pickup. I slow down slightly for the second guy on the ramp and flash my beams at him. I see he has custom rims. He’s slowing down. He’s a little slow on the uptake (being a Florida driver) and keeps slowing down. Doesn’t pull in front of me. In fact, it looks like he’s about to stop on the ramp. Just as I’m about to pick back up and let him wait for the next opening, the Hummer driver (being a Hummer driver), who last time I looked was about 5 seconds behind me, is practically in my trunk and flashes his beams at ME. Look, jerk. I know you have brakes. Use them. Sorry I inconvenienced you by making you temporarily slow down.

Guys, and I mean both of you – Rims and Hummer – you act like I expected you to act. I’m pretty disappointed. And pissed at you, Hummer. Don’t give me that.

Respectfully submitted,

A New York Driver.


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