Remember the days before cellphones and internet, when we actually had to pass notes? Or ask the girl to her face? Or (shame of shames) ask our friends to find out for us? I’m not saying I miss that, at all. I’m saying I miss that we had to do that. Because all that requirement of actually interacting prepared us to be real people who could actually communicate with each other. Now that we’re older, we should have the capability of telling someone how we feel, one way or the other. Our grandparents had to write letters to each other, our parents phoned, and we call, and text, and Skype, and email, and Facebook, and all that. But we communicate. We were forced to go face-to-face from early on. We couldn’t hide behind glowing electric screens.
For the most part, we still communicate with each other fairly well. But technology offers us an easy out. It’s so much less stressful to say the difficult things from behind a keyboard. You can backspace, you can think before you react, and best of all, you can’t see the person you’re talking to. Unfortunately I start to see that temptation winning among my age group. Arguments and breakups are executed via text message. I for one am certainly guilty of having AIM conversations that really would have been better on the phone. I always try to say important things in person, or at least over the phone, but sometimes the shield of technology is too tempting.
And then, surfing Craigslist Missed Connections, I see this:
“Biology Class – m4w – 19 (TCC)
Hi. you’re in my biology class at TCC and I think you’re pretty cool. You seem to check me out every so often and I want to talk to you but I always think, “Wait, what if she’s just looking at the clock or someone else?”.
Anyway the class starts at 12:20. I dont want to be too descriptive in the ad because what if you figure out who this is and you don’t actually like me. Then we have to spend the rest of the semester in awkwardness.”
This dude does not deserve to call himself 19. He is 12, tops. He has probably never considered how to express his emotions other than to a computer screen, nor the proper way to express his affections to a woman, and this is what it comes to. This has to be the most whiny, equivocal, driveling statement of interest I’ve ever read. If it has to be written, it should be in a diary.
Here’s a tip, dude: get up from your laptop, get your cojones out from the Xbox carton under your bed, and make eye contact with her. Flirt. She isn’t going to look at you twice if you’re that afraid of your own feelings.
Will it be painful and stressful and nerve-wracking? Absolutely. Will you get severely embarassed? Quite possibly. But you have to start using those people skills if you expect to ever get a woman.
By the way, dude, I’d take this ad down: if by some slim chance she sees this and recognizes you, she’s probably going to think you a ridiculously insecure dweeb not worth her time.